50 | The second phase of life

My life has been about twos.

Not the terrible twos; no, just the pairs who met twice and joined together, and the twins with the double take on life. The second guess was twofold, not bi-fold and cemented with as much again increasing fame. Binary moments caused dual concern and repeated with a different reaction.

No, I can’t be sane!

Here’s the honest spin and a recap on the eve of my 50th birthday.

Twin to Wade Baxter Stevens, dearly departed and never forgotten. In fact, not a day goes by without me thinking of him. Ever. Even 15 years later after his #RIP. I ponder along the lines these days whether I’d ever make such an impact on a person? It strives me to be better, do better, try and live better. Always.

Two stunning daughters, from two guys over the span of two marriages which both ended in two divorces and who now live in two different countries. The dad’s that is. The daughter’s BOTH born on the twenty second (two two) day of their months… are double trouble but have kept my heart pounding twice as fast as normal.

(They could both have dual passports. Ha!)

Two sisters and aside from Wade, two major male influences have shaped my life – my grandfather, Frank, who is now my precious guardian angel and my dad. My career has been wide and varied and across two cities. There have been two drivers; to learn and adapt. It makes my day if I am able to inspire and innovate and in some small way shape the future for us mere mortals in this big old, ugly at times, universe. It will keep me going until I meet Wade again. Smiling is better. Life.

Two things define you;

If it makes you happy, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t.

My journey has never been easy. You think you have a simple life so you somehow make it complicated to jazz it up and add excitement, to the point where you understand how to make it simple again and do, for the world to then work out a way to make things complicated, and does. External influences have been my life challenge. The responsibility of it all has caused a weight and it’s turned me into many things, including a carer. But I have fended so many scenarios the casing has become very thick. I dare the world. Daily.

Two things define you;

Your patience when you have nothing. Your attitude when you have everything.

Patience has been an ongoing conversation. I am driven and work hard but if I see something forming, endurance is probably a better word. I’m happy to chill and ponder in the background and bide my time. Sometimes.

Two things define you;

Take care of your thoughts when alone, and your words when with people.

Why is this being said? My blog has been my little thread of conversation from my head to the world. In fifty years time maybe my girls or grandchildren will look through archives and smile? Like I look through photos of Frank, or Annie, or my own parents and smile. It let’s me ponder what the world will look like and become; it has certainly come so far from when I was an innocent young thing in the back garden. Playing.

Two things define you;

Your life. Your legacy.

Poems. Thoughts. Journals. Photos. Conversation. Words. People.

They are all what help me continue. Let the new phase begin.

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